left eye blue

left eye blue

I like the sky when it’s this blue grey. I stop walking. I want to look. I want to watch the sky being the sky.
It changes, the color does, depending how you look at it. Close one eye and it’s all different. Left eye blue. Right eye grey. Like it can’t decide how it’s feeling.
I get it. I am that way sometimes. I am that way now. I can’t decide how I feel. I can’t decide who I am. I’m not sure who I used to be and I’m afraid to know who I will become.
Maybe that’s why I’ve stopped here. To do this. To stand still and watch the sky. At least here it can’t get worse. Not if I don’t move. Not if i stand still and just watch.
But today is no good for standing. Today the wind is chilly. Not so cold that I want to scurry off back to where I started, but chilly enough so that I notice. Enough to make me just a little uncomfortable. The wind is reminding me that it is there. Its touch just cold enough for me to know that I am not alone.
The clouds are low and they hurry past on their way to somewhere important. Maybe someplace beautiful. Maybe a place where things are sure of themselves. A place where problems are solved and things make sense. A place where the sky is blue and it knows it. A place they are looking forward to getting. A place were they can be alive in the present and leave their memories in the past. A place my earthbound body will never reach. Not by standing.
I’ve been standing here a while now. A lot of clouds have moved on. A lot of new ones have come and look to be intent on doing the same. If I didn’t know better, I would say that didn’t matter. I would say that the sky is still the same sky it was when I stopped moving to watch. But I do know better. At least, I think I do.
Some of it is the same. It’s still the same unsure of itself color. Left eye blue. Right eye grey. The are clouds hurrying. The wind insisting that they move on.
That stuff is the same but, those are different clouds. I know they are. I watched the wind shoo the old ones on their way to find their all the way blue sky. The clouds that I stopped to watch are gone forever. Nothing can stay exactly as it was. Not even the sky. The clouds will never move backward. The wind never blows in reverse.
I can’t fly like the clouds and I’m not sure if my sky will ever be blue. All I know is that I am starting to feel cold. It’s time to go. The wind is right. I have stood here long enough. I’m sure of that.

be visible, be vocal, or be erased


About the Artist

Iden Crockett(@my_name_is_iden) uses her words and her pictures tell the story of her experience as a first responder, her journey through ptsd, depression and the discovery of her identity as a transgender woman.

She publishes new pictures and writing bi-monthly through her free e-zine Trigger Warning

visit www.mynameisiden.com for more details

From the river to the sea…

Living in defiance

living in defiance

Complement this piece with a look into how humans use narrative to understand our selves, or at how the will to create inspires so much more in us.

Kill the Man, Save the Indian

TransJoy Media is proud to present our first ever feature of a mixed media project!


About the Artist

Xris Rodriguez he/him

Portfolio

insta: @xris_512

I am a creature deformed…


About the Artist

Alex McElfresh, he/they/it, find more on Instagram @lavanderlazarus

Complement this piece with an examination of love as a concept.

Softness is a blessing


About the Artist

Alex McElfresh, he/they/it, find more on Instagram @lavanderlazarus

Complement this piece with another poem by an awesome guest author.

A queer existence is criminal

criminal

Let me start off by saying I shouldn’t have been browsing on LinkedIn at all. It’s literally Facebook with more Gary Vee worship, somehow. However, I came across a hot take from someone who bills themself as an LGBTQ+ educator and I have some thoughts.

I don’t have the exact post anymore, which is honestly a good thing. I would never want to bring unwanted attention to a fellow trans person online. Beyond the potential for harm, I try to avoid directly responding to individual personal opinions I come across on the internet. But I am making an exception because I feel so strongly on this issue, and I feel the amount of positive response this persons perspective received could indicate a larger acceptance of their opinion.

This person expressed a disdain for the rising popularity of the phrase “we need accomplices, not allies”. Their interpretation of this phrase was that trans existence is not criminal, and being associated with criminals/criminality is morally wrong. Therefore they preferred having allies to accomplices. Thus completely missing the political backbone of this deliberate word choice. Let’s explore some reasons why I, and many who are in this fight for trans liberation, choose to use this specific wording, “accomplices, not allies”.

Are trans people criminals?

While I definitely agree that trans people shouldn’t be criminalized anywhere in the world, this is simply not the reality in which we live. The 500+ anti-trans laws currently in front of state and federal legislatures in the U.S. serves as direct contradiction to this author’s primary point. There are thousands of people in this country that would have the very existence of trans and gender expansive people made criminal. In some places, the existence of transgender minors is currently illegal. Legislation that is tantamount to cross dressing laws has already passed in Tennessee. Ron DeSantis is on the warpath in Florida. How can you really sit there and say that trans people aren’t considered criminals?

Criminals vs. The State

It is, in fact, in everyone’s best interest that those deemed “criminal” by the state retain some measure of human and civil rights. The state has the power and sole discretion to define what is “criminal”. Who can really say that this power will not be applied to groups that have historically escaped it’s clutches?

To argue as much is to rely on what is known as normalcy bias. This fault in reasoning occurs when one makes the assumption that because something has not happened, it will not happen in the future. In the case of this LinkedIn author, they have made the assumption that because they are not currently being criminalized where they happen to live, they will never be. These last few election cycles should have been enough to disabuse anyone of this notion, but alas, here we are. I hope those trans people who have not already, can collectively overcome this human tendency to think things will continue to be as they have always been. We cannot afford to ignore these threats to our existence.

The Anti-Trans Hate Machine

What exactly are these threats to trans people? There is a political machine that is well funded and largely hidden from the public eye, that seeks to eradicate trans people from public life.

This machine accomplishes it’s goal through spreading misinformation about trans people and supporting political candidates that are sympathetic to the evangelical ideology at it’s core. The team at Translash Media has put together an insightful podcast series entitled “The Anti-Trans Hate Machine” which illuminates the evangelical Christian origins and funding sources that fuel this machine. Just recently, Mother Jones, Vice News, and many other large media outlets have reported on thousands of leaked emails that expose how these elected officials talk about trans people when they think no one is listening. It disgusts me, but it does not surprise me in the least.

The true history of the “criminal” in the U.S.

Unsurprising because the system of law enforcement in U.S. is rotten to its core. It is only an extension of state sponsored enslavement into the modern day. The roots of the policing system in this country lie in the “slave patrols” of the mid to late 19th century. These informal patrols which were originally tasked with hunting down, capturing, and returning enslaved people to their enslavers, eventually organized into the formal state run systems of law enforcement we know today.

Many people have covered the basics of this better than I ever could. You can take a look here, and here for resources to learn more about the history of law enforcement and prisons in the United States. I make note of this history to highlight the fact that law enforcement agencies are nothing more than state sponsored gangs that can be turned on anyone, at any point in time, for truly any reason, as long as that reason is reason enough for the state to deem you a “criminal”.

Wrapping it all up

To my mind the only recourse we have against this machine is advocating for the abolition of the system of criminality in this country. We need people who are willing and able to use their privilege to take a stand against the state and alongside trans people. If this means being seen as a criminal, so be it. As long the state continues pouring more funding into these systems, imperialism, and white supremacy will continue to affect everyone, though these effects are not equally felt across demographics. Everyone is not currently a criminal, but anyone could be.

Complement this article with a deep dive into how modern iterations of transphobia have used racism’s political playbook to maintain power or with an excellent lecture by author and abolitionist Dean Spade on the necessity of an anti-state approach to dismantling carceral infrastructure in the U.S.

Listen – Arien Reed – pt. 2

This white charcoal drawing on black paper features a trans man gazing daringly into the eyes of the viewer. Inspired by Yannis Davy Guibinga’s black on black photography, this piece is meant to stop the viewer, disrupt routines, and inspire courage.


About the Artist

Arien Reed is a trans man who paints/draws other gender diverse and/or intersex people. When not covered in paint, he volunteers as the secretary for Trans-E-Motion, a nonprofit providing gender affirming garments and GAC grants, rental relief grants, free WPATH (transition approval) letters, and more, to the trans community. Follow his artwork on IG or TikTok at @arienreedart or on Facebook at facebook.com/arienreedart

Complement this with another piece meant to inspire courage.

Unbinding – Arien Reed – pt.1

arien reed

This black & white charcoal drawing on gray paper by Arien Reed of a trans man removing his binder feels like a metaphor for breaking free, for hurting in exchange for experiencing needed change. Binders are not comfortable to wear or easy to put on or remove, but the gender euphoria they provide cannot be overstated.


About the Artist

Arien Reed is a trans man who paints/draws other gender diverse and/or intersex people. When not covered in paint, he volunteers as the secretary for Trans-E-Motion, a nonprofit providing gender affirming garments and GAC grants, rental relief grants, free WPATH (transition approval) letters, and more, to the trans community. Follow his artwork on IG or TikTok at @arienreedart or on Facebook at facebook.com/arienreedart

Complement this piece with a poem, or a look into what it means to really see the world for what it is.

A Burden to Bare

My womb is barren – empty and dry.

I never wanted to get my period.

I never wanted to celebrate my ascension into womanhood.

Though my ovaries ache, give me no children.

Filet me.

Hang me by my fallopian tubes – arms spread wide,

So that all may watch the autopsy of my soul.

My act of contrition.


About the Author

G. Picconatto lives and works in Minneapolis, MN. Their written/poetic work focuses primarily on their personal journey with gender. Follow them on Instagram @pisces_witxh.

Complement this poem with a look into the pain of feeling unseen, or a personal account of the realities of accessing healthcare in the U.S.

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